i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
