...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
i believe in u and ur pee
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Randomize
