You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
