so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Randomize
