you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
Randomize
