So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Randomize
