i wish starbucks made bloody marys
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
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