Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
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