I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
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