I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Randomize
