i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
Randomize
