My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
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