every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
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