I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
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