p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
