We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Randomize
