He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Randomize
