cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Randomize