I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
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