Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Randomize
