I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
Randomize
