Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
