i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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