I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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