she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
