dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
