UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
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