I just gift wrapped bread.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
Randomize
