Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
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