brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize
