awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
Your dad touched me again.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
Randomize
