I puked a lego.
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
