Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
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