So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
Randomize