it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Randomize
