can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
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