Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
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