just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
