I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
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