i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
This is the prime rib incident all over again
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
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