Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
