i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Randomize
