Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
