Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Randomize
