This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
