I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
Randomize
