her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
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