dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
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