So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
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