That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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