Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
so let's talk penis.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
