so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
I wish life had little blips of pornography
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Randomize
