i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
He? As in you personified your dick?
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize
