i don't like sucking hair
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
